Difference between revisions of "Transcript:A Clockwork Origin"
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:[Opening Credits: This time, it's personal.] | :[Opening Credits: This time, it's personal.] | ||
:''['''Scene''': [[Planet Express]], Meeting Room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] are sitting at the table.]'' | :''['''Scene''': [[Planet Express]], Meeting Room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] are sitting at the table.]'' | ||
:'''[Hermes]''': Item one... Duck! ''[Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by [[Cubert]] on a [[party board]]. | :'''[Hermes]''': Item one... Duck! ''[Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by [[Cubert]] on a [[party board]]. | ||
:'''[[Prof. Farnsworth]]''': Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in [[Wozniak Nerd Academy|school]]? | :'''[[Prof. Farnsworth]]''': Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in [[Wozniak Nerd Academy|school]]? | ||
:'''Cubert''': I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these {{w|anti-evolution}} flyers. | :'''Cubert''': I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these {{w|anti-evolution}} flyers. | ||
:''[He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "{{w|Darwin}}". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]'' | :''[He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "{{w|Darwin}}". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He gasps.]'' {{w|Evolution}} is under attack at our schools? To the ''science mobile''. | :'''Farnsworth''': ''[He gasps.]'' {{w|Evolution}} is under attack at our schools? To the ''science mobile''. | ||
:'''[[Leela]]''': You mean the [[Planet Express Ship|ship]]? | :'''[[Leela]]''': You mean the [[Planet Express Ship|ship]]? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes. The science mobile! | :'''Farnsworth''': Yes. The science mobile! | ||
:'''Leela''' It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay. | :'''Leela''' It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]'' | ||
:'''Woman''': I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers! | :'''Woman''': I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers! | ||
:''[The crowd listening cheers]'' | :''[The crowd listening cheers]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[Walking to the podium.]'' You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your {{w|turnip}} trucks and go home! | :'''Farnsworth''': ''[Walking to the podium.]'' You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your {{w|turnip}} trucks and go home! | ||
:''[The crowd boos.]'' | :''[The crowd boos.]'' | ||
:'''[[Hydroponic Farmer]]''': ''[Standing in front of a turnip truck.]'' That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir! | :'''[[Hydroponic Farmer]]''': ''[Standing in front of a turnip truck.]'' That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir! | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men. | :'''Farnsworth''': As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men. | ||
:'''[[Dr. Banjo]]''': I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were {{w|orangutan|orangutans}}. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans. | :'''[[Dr. Banjo]]''': I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were {{w|orangutan|orangutans}}. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans. | ||
:'''[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]'' | :'''[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Dr. Banjo? | :'''Farnsworth''': Dr. Banjo? | ||
:'''Dr. Banjo''': In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a {{w|Scientific theory|theory}}. Like {{w|gravity}}, or the shape of the [[Earth]]. | :'''Dr. Banjo''': In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a {{w|Scientific theory|theory}}. Like {{w|gravity}}, or the shape of the [[Earth]]. | ||
:''[The crowd cheers again.]'' | :''[The crowd cheers again.]'' | ||
:'''[[Flying Spaghetti Monster (character)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]''': Hey, Professor, I'm a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster (species)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless {{w|manicotti}}? | :'''[[Flying Spaghetti Monster (character)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]''': Hey, Professor, I'm a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster (species)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless {{w|manicotti}}? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes! | :'''Farnsworth''': Yes! | ||
:'''Banjo''': Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of {{w|Creationism|Creatureism}}. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space! | :'''Banjo''': Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of {{w|Creationism|Creatureism}}. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space! | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Bunk! | :'''Farnsworth''': Bunk! | ||
:'''Banjo''': Oh! ''[He shows a [[hologram]] of a [[humans|man]] and a {{w|Chimpanzee}}, with a backwards {{w|prohibition sign}} running through an arrow.]'' If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient {{w|Great Apes|apes}}? | :'''Banjo''': Oh! ''[He shows a [[hologram]] of a [[humans|man]] and a {{w|Chimpanzee}}, with a backwards {{w|prohibition sign}} running through an arrow.]'' If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient {{w|Great Apes|apes}}? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': We did find it! ''[The arrow is replaced by {{w|Homo erectus}}.]'' It's called ''Homo erectus''! | :'''Farnsworth''': We did find it! ''[The arrow is replaced by {{w|Homo erectus}}.]'' It's called ''Homo erectus''! | ||
:'''Banjo''': Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this ''Homo erectus''. ''[The arrow is put between before ''Homo erectus''.] | :'''Banjo''': Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this ''Homo erectus''. ''[The arrow is put between before ''Homo erectus''.] | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in again.]'' It's called ''{{w|Homo habilis}}''! | :'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in again.]'' It's called ''{{w|Homo habilis}}''! | ||
:'''Banjo''': Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called ''Homo habilis''. | :'''Banjo''': Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called ''Homo habilis''. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in.]'' It's called {{w|Australopithecus africanus}}! | :'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in.]'' It's called {{w|Australopithecus africanus}}! | ||
:'''Banjo''': Oh-ho! I've got you now! ''[Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only [[Fry]] and Leela are still there.]'' Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this ''{{w|Darwinius masillae}}? Answer me that, Professor! | :'''Banjo''': Oh-ho! I've got you now! ''[Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only [[Fry]] and Leela are still there.]'' Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this ''{{w|Darwinius masillae}}? Answer me that, Professor! | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! | :'''Farnsworth''': Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! | ||
:'''Banjo''': ''[He scoffs.]'' Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky! | :'''Banjo''': ''[He scoffs.]'' Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky! | ||
:''['''Scene''': [[Oldluvial Gorge]]. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of {{w|Ryan Seacreast}} (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]'' | :''['''Scene''': [[Oldluvial Gorge]]. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of {{w|Ryan Seacreast}} (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I'll show that {{w|banana}}-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link. | :'''Farnsworth''': I'll show that {{w|banana}}-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link. | ||
:'''Leela''': I found ''a'' missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. ''[She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]'' | :'''Leela''': I found ''a'' missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. ''[She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! ''[She throws it in a pot.]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! ''[She throws it in a pot.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': And here's something. ''[He holds up a fossilized dog]'' Uh-oh. It's [[Jurassic Bark|another one]] of [[Seymour Asses|Fry's dogs]]. | :'''Hermes''': And here's something. ''[He holds up a fossilized dog]'' Uh-oh. It's [[Jurassic Bark|another one]] of [[Seymour Asses|Fry's dogs]]. | ||
:'''Fry''': Did you say something, Hermes? | :'''Fry''': Did you say something, Hermes? | ||
:'''Hermes''': ''[Hiding the fossil behind his back.]'' Nothing. ''[The dog lands in the soup.]'' | :'''Hermes''': ''[Hiding the fossil behind his back.]'' Nothing. ''[The dog lands in the soup.]'' | ||
:'''[[Amy]]''': I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers! | :'''[[Amy]]''': I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers! | ||
:'''[[Zoidberg]]''': ''[He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]'' Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! ''[Cubert looks at him, deadpan.]'' What, too soon? | :'''[[Zoidberg]]''': ''[He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]'' Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! ''[Cubert looks at him, deadpan.]'' What, too soon? | ||
:'''Cubert''': I highly doubt a {{w|Jurassic}} {{w|Elaphrosaurus}} has access to neckwear. | :'''Cubert''': I highly doubt a {{w|Jurassic}} {{w|Elaphrosaurus}} has access to neckwear. | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke. | :'''Zoidberg''': I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke. | ||
:'''[[Bender]]''': Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! ''[He picks up a spring.]'' | :'''[[Bender]]''': Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! ''[He picks up a spring.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils! | :'''Farnsworth''': That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils! | ||
:'''Bender''': What? Who says I didn't evolve? | :'''Bender''': What? Who says I didn't evolve? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers. | :'''Farnsworth''': Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers. | ||
:'''Bender''': Then explain this! ''[He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]'' | :'''Bender''': Then explain this! ''[He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]'' | ||
:''[Time Lapse.]'' | :''[Time Lapse.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I've hit a rich vein of missing links. {{w|Java Man}}, {{w|Piltdown Man}}, {{w|Manfred Mann}}. ''[He throws out the skulls as he names them.]'' Eureka! ''[He is holding a skull.]'' It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all! | :'''Farnsworth''': I've hit a rich vein of missing links. {{w|Java Man}}, {{w|Piltdown Man}}, {{w|Manfred Mann}}. ''[He throws out the skulls as he names them.]'' Eureka! ''[He is holding a skull.]'' It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all! | ||
:''[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]'' | :''[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.]'' What the... | :'''Fry''': ''[He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.]'' What the... | ||
:'''Amy''': Oh, that's mine. ''[She takes it back.]'' | :'''Amy''': Oh, that's mine. ''[She takes it back.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]'' | :''['''Scene''': NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]'' | ||
:'''Bender''': ''[He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized {{w|Tuxedo}}.]'' Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say. | :'''Bender''': ''[He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized {{w|Tuxedo}}.]'' Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy! | :'''Farnsworth''': One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy! | ||
:'''Bender''': You mean a man! It was his {{w|Bar Mitzvah}}. | :'''Bender''': You mean a man! It was his {{w|Bar Mitzvah}}. | ||
:'''[[Ben Beeler]]''': Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[The crowd chuckles weakly.]'' | :'''[[Ben Beeler]]''': Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[The crowd chuckles weakly.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': ''[To Cubert.]'' He's good. | :'''Zoidberg''': ''[To Cubert.]'' He's good. | ||
:'''Beeler''': Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of {{w|Hominids}}, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, ''Homo farnsworth''. ''[A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]'' | :'''Beeler''': Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of {{w|Hominids}}, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, ''Homo farnsworth''. ''[A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Once again, science saves the day. The end. | :'''Farnsworth''': Once again, science saves the day. The end. | ||
:'''Beeler''': And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo! | :'''Beeler''': And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo! | ||
:''[The Professor does a {{w|spit take}} His {{w|dentures}} land ''in'' a painting of a {{w|Tarsier}}]''. | :''[The Professor does a {{w|spit take}} His {{w|dentures}} land ''in'' a painting of a {{w|Tarsier}}]''. | ||
:'''Banjo''': Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. ''[He pulls a cord and a painting of ''Homo farnsworth'' riding a dinosaur is revealed.]'' Behold! ''Homo farnsworth'' frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation. | :'''Banjo''': Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. ''[He pulls a cord and a painting of ''Homo farnsworth'' riding a dinosaur is revealed.]'' Behold! ''Homo farnsworth'' frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore. | :'''Farnsworth''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': Deep Space.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Deep Space.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that {{w|asteroid}} over there. | :'''Farnsworth''': Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that {{w|asteroid}} over there. | ||
:''['''Scene''': [[Robo-Planetoid]].]'' | :''['''Scene''': [[Robo-Planetoid]].]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless. | :'''Leela''': Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it! | :'''Farnsworth''': Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it! | ||
:''[Hermes sets down a container labeled "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]'' | :''[Hermes sets down a container labeled "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[Looking at a polluted pond.]'' Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like {{w|Diet Dr. Pepper}}. | :'''Fry''': ''[Looking at a polluted pond.]'' Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like {{w|Diet Dr. Pepper}}. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. ''[He rattles a tube.]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. ''[He rattles a tube.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': What's in the tube? | :'''Fry''': What's in the tube? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Microscopic [[Nanobots]]. ''[He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.]'' They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants. | :'''Farnsworth''': Microscopic [[Nanobots]]. ''[He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.]'' They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants. | ||
:'''Fry''': Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert? | :'''Fry''': Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather. | :'''Farnsworth''': Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Cubert, I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of [[A Clockwork Origin#Goofs| baseball gloves]] and boiled them up for lunch. | :'''Zoidberg''': Cubert, I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of [[A Clockwork Origin#Goofs| baseball gloves]] and boiled them up for lunch. | ||
:'''Cubert''': Why don't you just go to Hell! | :'''Cubert''': Why don't you just go to Hell! | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they? | :'''Zoidberg''': Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they? | ||
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': ''[He walks out of the Professor's shack.]'' Okay, I finished moving the last {{w|grand piano}}. Now can we have our pizza? | :'''Hermes''': ''[He walks out of the Professor's shack.]'' Okay, I finished moving the last {{w|grand piano}}. Now can we have our pizza? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. ''[He pours some water from an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}} on to a {{w|microscope}} slide and examines it.]'' Ah, the water's as {{w|sterility|sterile}} as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex. | :'''Farnsworth''': You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. ''[He pours some water from an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}} on to a {{w|microscope}} slide and examines it.]'' Ah, the water's as {{w|sterility|sterile}} as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex. | ||
:'''Bender''': What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say? | :'''Bender''': What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it! | :'''Farnsworth''': It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it! | ||
:'''Amy''': Hey look, now they gotten bigger. ''[The robots are coming onshore.]'' | :'''Amy''': Hey look, now they gotten bigger. ''[The robots are coming onshore.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Good heavens! [[Trilobots]]! | :'''Farnsworth''': Good heavens! [[Trilobots]]! | ||
:''[The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]'' | :''[The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': Oh no! My sunglasses were in there! | :'''Leela''': Oh no! My sunglasses were in there! | ||
:''[Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]'' | :''[Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': Let's get the pizza out of here. ''[Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]'' | :'''Hermes''': Let's get the pizza out of here. ''[Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]'' | ||
:'''Amy''': Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave. ''[The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]'' | :'''Amy''': Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave. ''[The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': Does anyone have a lighter? | :'''Leela''': Does anyone have a lighter? | ||
:'''Bender''': Hang on. ''[He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]'' | :'''Bender''': Hang on. ''[He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation. | :'''Leela''': Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation. | ||
:'''Hermes''': It's pizza time. ''[He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]'' | :'''Hermes''': It's pizza time. ''[He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]'' | ||
:'''Amy''': {{w|Pineapple}}? | :'''Amy''': {{w|Pineapple}}? | ||
:'''Hermes''': So much for that. ''[They all throw away the pizza.]'' | :'''Hermes''': So much for that. ''[They all throw away the pizza.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert's room.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert's room.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. ''[He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.]'' This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working? | :'''Zoidberg''': Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. ''[He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.]'' This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working? | ||
:'''Cubert''': This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do {{w|three-point perspective}}? I could make a better mural with my butt! | :'''Cubert''': This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do {{w|three-point perspective}}? I could make a better mural with my butt! | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': ''[Sadly.]'' Father-Man away. ''[Cubert looks ashamed.]'' | :'''Zoidberg''': ''[Sadly.]'' Father-Man away. ''[Cubert looks ashamed.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple? | :'''Hermes''': Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. ''[He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. ''[He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. ''[Bender moves the boulder.]'' Go! Go! Hit anything that moves1 | :'''Leela''': Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. ''[Bender moves the boulder.]'' Go! Go! Hit anything that moves1 | ||
:''[The crew rushes out, {{w|Karate}}-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]'' | :''[The crew rushes out, {{w|Karate}}-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': Whoa. | :'''Fry''': Whoa. | ||
:'''Bender''': Wow. | :'''Bender''': Wow. | ||
:'''Amy''': An entire forest grew overnight. | :'''Amy''': An entire forest grew overnight. | ||
:'''Farsworth''': ''[He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.]'' These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up. | :'''Farsworth''': ''[He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.]'' These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up. | ||
:'''Bender''': I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up. | :'''Bender''': I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up. | ||
:'''Leela''': ''[She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.]'' One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. ''[She takes a bite.]'' | :'''Leela''': ''[She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.]'' One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. ''[She takes a bite.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.]'' Look at me, I'm the {{w|Dan Resin|Ty-D-Bol man}}. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. ''[He is attacked by a robotic {{w|Plesiosaurs}}.]'' Help! Police! | :'''Fry''': ''[In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.]'' Look at me, I'm the {{w|Dan Resin|Ty-D-Bol man}}. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. ''[He is attacked by a robotic {{w|Plesiosaurs}}.]'' Help! Police! | ||
:'''Leela''': Everybody grab a club. ''[The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]'' | :'''Leela''': Everybody grab a club. ''[The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.]'' Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... ''[A robotic {{w|T-Rex}} grabs him in its jaws.]'' | :'''Fry''': ''[The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.]'' Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... ''[A robotic {{w|T-Rex}} grabs him in its jaws.]'' | ||
:'''Amy''': Look out for the next thing! | :'''Amy''': Look out for the next thing! | ||
:''[A robotic {{w|Triceratops}} rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]'' | :''[A robotic {{w|Triceratops}} rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Great Scott, Tricycle-tops! | :'''Farnsworth''': Great Scott, Tricycle-tops! | ||
:''[The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]'' | :''[The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''' Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. ''[Something crows and Fry screams. A robot {{w|Pterosaur}} carries him off.]'' This is a cool way to die! | :'''Fry''' Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. ''[Something crows and Fry screams. A robot {{w|Pterosaur}} carries him off.]'' This is a cool way to die! | ||
:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express.]'' | ||
:'''Cubert''': Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. ''[Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]'' | :'''Cubert''': Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. ''[Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Go on. | :'''Zoidberg''': Go on. | ||
:'''Cubert''': It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism. | :'''Cubert''': It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism. | ||
:'''[[Brett Blob]]''': Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? ''[He laughs.]'' | :'''[[Brett Blob]]''': Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? ''[He laughs.]'' | ||
:'''Cubert''': Why don't you ask your [[Mrs. Blob|mom]]? She's coming over for a sex visit. | :'''Cubert''': Why don't you ask your [[Mrs. Blob|mom]]? She's coming over for a sex visit. | ||
:''[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]'' | :''[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? ''[He bursts into tears.]'' | :'''Zoidberg''': Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? ''[He bursts into tears.]'' | ||
:'''Brett''': ''[He laughs.]'' The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads. | :'''Brett''': ''[He laughs.]'' The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads. | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': And that's that. | :'''Zoidberg''': And that's that. | ||
:'''Cubert''': Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster {{sw|Jedi}}. | :'''Cubert''': Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster {{sw|Jedi}}. | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': So, you wanna come in maybe? ''[He opens the other lid.]'' I've got a nice {{w|pound cake}} with a footprint on it. | :'''Zoidberg''': So, you wanna come in maybe? ''[He opens the other lid.]'' I've got a nice {{w|pound cake}} with a footprint on it. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.]'' Ah! Don't eat my butt! | :'''Fry''': ''[Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.]'' Ah! Don't eat my butt! | ||
:''[The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]'' | :''[The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]'' | ||
:'''Leela''': If this is anything like killing that {{w|pigeon}} on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us. | :'''Leela''': If this is anything like killing that {{w|pigeon}} on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us. | ||
:''[The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]'' | :''[The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Look out, a {{w|solar flare}}! | :'''Farnsworth''': Look out, a {{w|solar flare}}! | ||
:''[An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an {{w|afro}} and short-circuiting the robots. | :''[An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an {{w|afro}} and short-circuiting the robots. | ||
:'''Amy''': What the [[Coinage#S|shmell]] happened? | :'''Amy''': What the [[Coinage#S|shmell]] happened? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': A mass extinction. ''[Fry lands unceremoniously near them.]'' That solar flare created a huge {{w|Electromagnetic pulse}} that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs. | :'''Farnsworth''': A mass extinction. ''[Fry lands unceremoniously near them.]'' That solar flare created a huge {{w|Electromagnetic pulse}} that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs. | ||
:'''Leela''': [[Lampshade hanging|Convenient]] | :'''Leela''': [[Lampshade hanging|Convenient]] | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Only puny, {{w|mammal}}-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe. | :'''Farnsworth''': Only puny, {{w|mammal}}-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe. | ||
:''[Bender takes this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a {{w|scarf}}. Guys, guys! I taught myself to {{w|knit}}.]'' | :''[Bender takes this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a {{w|scarf}}. Guys, guys! I taught myself to {{w|knit}}.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet! | :'''Farnsworth''': Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet! | ||
:''[Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]'' | :''[Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. ''[The crew cheers.]'' Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise. | :'''Farnsworth''': Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. ''[The crew cheers.]'' Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise. | ||
:'''Bender''': Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. ''[Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]'' | :'''Bender''': Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. ''[Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]'' | ||
:''[Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]'' | :''[Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]'' | ||
:''[Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical {{w|rooster}} crows and the crew leaves their cave.]'' | :''[Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical {{w|rooster}} crows and the crew leaves their cave.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': Hey, looky here. ''[Mechanical flowers have sprung up, there are animals everywhere.]'' | :'''Fry''': Hey, looky here. ''[Mechanical flowers have sprung up, there are animals everywhere.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': Sweet robot swan of Botswana! | :'''Hermes''': Sweet robot swan of Botswana! | ||
:'''Bender''': Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh? | :'''Bender''': Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Whatever. | :'''Farnsworth''': Whatever. | ||
:'''Fry''': Hey, looky there. ''[Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]'' | :'''Fry''': Hey, looky there. ''[Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]'' | ||
:'''Hermes''': Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women! | :'''Hermes''': Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women! | ||
:'''Fry''': We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. ''[He shows off a fan.]'' | :'''Fry''': We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. ''[He shows off a fan.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. ''[His pants fall down.]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. ''[His pants fall down.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]'' | ||
:'''Amy''': I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks. | :'''Amy''': I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks. | ||
:'''Leela''': I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks. | :'''Leela''': I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Outside the Crew's cave.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Outside the Crew's cave.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished. | :'''Farnsworth''': Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished. | ||
:'''Hermes''': It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. ''[They go into their cave.]'' | :'''Hermes''': It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. ''[They go into their cave.]'' | ||
:'''[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]'' | :'''[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': What's going on? How did we save you? | :'''Fry''': What's going on? How did we save you? | ||
:'''Amy''': It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone. | :'''Amy''': It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone. | ||
:'''Leela''': I'm gonna miss Spencer. | :'''Leela''': I'm gonna miss Spencer. | ||
:''[Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]'' | :''[Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]'' | ||
:'''[[Dr. Widnar]]''': Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. ''[She throws a net on Fry.]'' | :'''[[Dr. Widnar]]''': Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. ''[She throws a net on Fry.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[He whistles.]'' Nice net. | :'''Fry''': ''[He whistles.]'' Nice net. | ||
:'''Widnar''': You can speak? | :'''Widnar''': You can speak? | ||
:'''Hermes''': Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human. | :'''Hermes''': Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human. | ||
:'''Widnar''': I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist. | :'''Widnar''': I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist. | ||
:'''Bender''': And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side. | :'''Bender''': And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, shut up! | :'''Farnsworth''': Oh, shut up! | ||
:'''Widnar'''': Amazing. ''[She pokes Hermes.]'' I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof. | :'''Widnar'''': Amazing. ''[She pokes Hermes.]'' I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof. | ||
:'''Leela''': Good for you. Can we go home now? ''[Widnar throws a net on Leela.]'' | :'''Leela''': Good for you. Can we go home now? ''[Widnar throws a net on Leela.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': [[Museum of Natural Robo-History]]. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]'' | :''['''Scene''': [[Museum of Natural Robo-History]]. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]'' | ||
:'''Widnar''': Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[A robot coughs.]'' I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, ''Homo farnsworth''. | :'''Widnar''': Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[A robot coughs.]'' I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, ''Homo farnsworth''. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors. | :'''Farnsworth''': Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors. | ||
:''[The crowd gasps.]'' | :''[The crowd gasps.]'' | ||
:'''Widnar''': What? | :'''Widnar''': What? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago. | :'''Farnsworth''': I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago. | ||
:'''Widnar''': But this is Creationist talk! | :'''Widnar''': But this is Creationist talk! | ||
:'''[[Robot Farnsworth]]''': He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days. | :'''[[Robot Farnsworth]]''': He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. ''[He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. ''[He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]'' | ||
:'''Widnar''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore! ''[She blasts off.]'' | :'''Widnar''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore! ''[She blasts off.]'' | ||
:'''Robo-Police''': You're under arrest for crimes against science. | :'''Robo-Police''': You're under arrest for crimes against science. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''' ''[He is dragged off.]'' No! Could you drag me by the restroom? | :'''Farnsworth''' ''[He is dragged off.]'' No! Could you drag me by the restroom? | ||
:''[USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]'' | :''[USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': [[Superior Gort]]. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]'' | :''['''Scene''': [[Superior Gort]]. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]'' | ||
:'''Robot''': Go back to Roboklahoma! | :'''Robot''': Go back to Roboklahoma! | ||
:''['''Scene''': Superior Gort.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Superior Gort.]'' | ||
:'''[[Superior Gort Judge]]''': Order! In the matter of ''[[Everyone v. Farnsworth]]'', the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused? | :'''[[Superior Gort Judge]]''': Order! In the matter of ''[[Everyone v. Farnsworth]]'', the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused? | ||
:'''Leela''': I am... | :'''Leela''': I am... | ||
:'''Bender''': I am, your Honor. ''[Everyone else gasps.]'' | :'''Bender''': I am, your Honor. ''[Everyone else gasps.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Bender, what the Hell are you doing? | :'''Farnsworth''': Bender, what the Hell are you doing? | ||
:'''Bender''': Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. ''[He clears his throat.]'' Ladytrons and gentlebots... | :'''Bender''': Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. ''[He clears his throat.]'' Ladytrons and gentlebots... | ||
: | |||
:'''[[Superior Gort Prosecutor]]''': Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose. | |||
:'''Superior Gort Judge''': I'm going to allow them, for now. | :'''Superior Gort Judge''': I'm going to allow them, for now. | ||
:'''Bender''': Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! ''[Everyone gasps again.]'' | :'''Bender''': Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! ''[Everyone gasps again.]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle. | :'''Farnsworth''': Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle. | ||
:''[Fry gives a thumbs-up.]'' | :''[Fry gives a thumbs-up.]'' | ||
:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Prosecutor, your opening statement? | :'''Superior Gort Judge''': Prosecutor, your opening statement? | ||
:''' Superior Gort Prosecutor''': ''[on cell-phone.] '' Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. ''[To the Judge.]'' The prosecution rests, your Honor. | :''' Superior Gort Prosecutor''': ''[on cell-phone.] '' Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. ''[To the Judge.]'' The prosecution rests, your Honor. | ||
:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict. | :'''Superior Gort Judge''': Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict. | ||
:''[A {{w|fork-lift}} carries the jury box out of the room.]'' | :''[A {{w|fork-lift}} carries the jury box out of the room.]'' | ||
:'''Bender''': Son, you in a whole mess of trouble. | :'''Bender''': Son, you in a whole mess of trouble. | ||
:''[Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]'' | :''[Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]'' | ||
:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Has the jury reached a verdict? | :'''Superior Gort Judge''': Has the jury reached a verdict? | ||
:'''[[Robot gas forms]]: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. ''[They are all energy beings.]'' In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. ''[A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]'' | :'''[[Robot gas forms]]: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. ''[They are all energy beings.]'' In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. ''[A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]'' | ||
:'''Bender''': That'll be $10,000. | :'''Bender''': That'll be $10,000. | ||
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]'' | :''['''Scene''': Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]'' | ||
:'''Banjo''': Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution. | :'''Banjo''': Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo. | :'''Farnsworth''': I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo. | ||
:'''Banjo''': Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You. | :'''Banjo''': Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He chuckles.]'' Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth. | :'''Farnsworth''': ''[He chuckles.]'' Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth. | ||
:'''Bender''': And the Creator could also be a robot. | :'''Bender''': And the Creator could also be a robot. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot? | :'''Farnsworth''': And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot? | ||
:'''Banjo''': Some magical bearded robot in the sky? ''[He and Farnsworth laugh.]'' | :'''Banjo''': Some magical bearded robot in the sky? ''[He and Farnsworth laugh.]'' | ||
:'''Bender''': I guess that would be stupid. Never mind. | :'''Bender''': I guess that would be stupid. Never mind. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son! | :'''Farnsworth''': Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son! | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': Good, cause I'm sick of him! | :'''Zoidberg''': Good, cause I'm sick of him! | ||
:''[Closing Credits.]'' | :''[Closing Credits.]'' | ||
:'''Zoidberg''': ''[Over credits.]'' I'm serious. He's a terrible person. | :'''Zoidberg''': ''[Over credits.]'' I'm serious. He's a terrible person. | ||
Revision as of 02:13, 20 March 2011
← Previous | Navigation in production order | Next → |
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Transcript for | |
A Clockwork Origin | |
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Written by | Dan Vebber |
Transcribed by | Teyrn of Highever |
- [Opening Credits: This time, it's personal.]
- [Scene: Planet Express, Meeting Room. The crew are sitting at the table.]
- [Hermes]: Item one... Duck! [Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by Cubert on a party board.
- Prof. Farnsworth: Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in school?
- Cubert: I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these anti-evolution flyers.
- [He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "Darwin". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]
- Farnsworth: [He gasps.] Evolution is under attack at our schools? To the science mobile.
- Farnsworth: Yes. The science mobile!
- Leela It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay.
- [Scene: Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]
- Woman: I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!
- [The crowd listening cheers]
- Farnsworth: [Walking to the podium.] You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your turnip trucks and go home!
- [The crowd boos.]
- Hydroponic Farmer: [Standing in front of a turnip truck.] That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir!
- Farnsworth: As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.
- Dr. Banjo: I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were orangutans. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans.
- '[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]
- Farnsworth: Dr. Banjo?
- Dr. Banjo: In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a theory. Like gravity, or the shape of the Earth.
- [The crowd cheers again.]
- Flying Spaghetti Monster: Hey, Professor, I'm a Flying Spaghetti Monster. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless manicotti?
- Farnsworth: Yes!
- Banjo: Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!
- Farnsworth: Bunk!
- Banjo: Oh! [He shows a hologram of a man and a Chimpanzee, with a backwards prohibition sign running through an arrow.] If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient apes?
- Farnsworth: We did find it! [The arrow is replaced by Homo erectus.] It's called Homo erectus!
- Banjo: Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this Homo erectus. [The arrow is put between before Homo erectus.]
- Farnsworth: Yes, they have! [The hologram fills in again.] It's called Homo habilis!
- Banjo: Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called Homo habilis.
- Farnsworth: Yes, they have! [The hologram fills in.] It's called Australopithecus africanus!
- Banjo: Oh-ho! I've got you now! [Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only Fry and Leela are still there.] Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this Darwinius masillae? Answer me that, Professor!
- Farnsworth: Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!
- Banjo: [He scoffs.] Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!
- [Scene: Oldluvial Gorge. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of Ryan Seacreast (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]
- Farnsworth: I'll show that banana-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.
- Leela: I found a missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. [She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]
- Farnsworth: Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! [She throws it in a pot.]
- Hermes: And here's something. [He holds up a fossilized dog] Uh-oh. It's another one of Fry's dogs.
- Fry: Did you say something, Hermes?
- Hermes: [Hiding the fossil behind his back.] Nothing. [The dog lands in the soup.]
- Amy: I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!
- Zoidberg: [He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.] Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! [Cubert looks at him, deadpan.] What, too soon?
- Cubert: I highly doubt a Jurassic Elaphrosaurus has access to neckwear.
- Zoidberg: I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.
- Bender: Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! [He picks up a spring.]
- Farnsworth: That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!
- Bender: What? Who says I didn't evolve?
- Farnsworth: Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers.
- Bender: Then explain this! [He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]
- [Time Lapse.]
- Farnsworth: I've hit a rich vein of missing links. Java Man, Piltdown Man, Manfred Mann. [He throws out the skulls as he names them.] Eureka! [He is holding a skull.] It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!
- [The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]
- Fry: [He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.] What the...
- Amy: Oh, that's mine. [She takes it back.]
- [Scene: NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]
- Bender: [He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized Tuxedo.] Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say.
- Farnsworth: One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy!
- Bender: You mean a man! It was his Bar Mitzvah.
- Ben Beeler: Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. [The crowd chuckles weakly.]
- Zoidberg: [To Cubert.] He's good.
- Beeler: Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of Hominids, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, Homo farnsworth. [A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]
- Farnsworth: Once again, science saves the day. The end.
- Beeler: And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!
- Banjo: Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. [He pulls a cord and a painting of Homo farnsworth riding a dinosaur is revealed.] Behold! Homo farnsworth frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.
- Farnsworth: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
- [Scene: Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]
- [Scene: Deep Space.]
- Farnsworth: Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that asteroid over there.
- [Scene: Robo-Planetoid.]
- Leela: Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless.
- Farnsworth: Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!
- [Hermes sets down a container labeled "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]
- Fry: [Looking at a polluted pond.] Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like Diet Dr. Pepper.
- Farnsworth: It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. [He rattles a tube.]
- Fry: What's in the tube?
- Farnsworth: Microscopic Nanobots. [He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.] They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.
- Fry: Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?
- Farnsworth: Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather.
- [Scene: Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]
- Zoidberg: Cubert, I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of baseball gloves and boiled them up for lunch.
- Cubert: Why don't you just go to Hell!
- Zoidberg: Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?
- [Scene: Robo-Planetoid.]
- Hermes: [He walks out of the Professor's shack.] Okay, I finished moving the last grand piano. Now can we have our pizza?
- Farnsworth: You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. [He pours some water from an Erlenmeyer flask on to a microscope slide and examines it.] Ah, the water's as sterile as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.
- Bender: What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?
- Farnsworth: It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!
- Amy: Hey look, now they gotten bigger. [The robots are coming onshore.]
- Farnsworth: Good heavens! Trilobots!
- [The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]
- Leela: Oh no! My sunglasses were in there!
- [Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]
- Hermes: Let's get the pizza out of here. [Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]
- Amy: Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave. [The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]
- Leela: Does anyone have a lighter?
- Bender: Hang on. [He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]
- Leela: Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.
- Hermes: It's pizza time. [He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]
- Amy: Pineapple?
- Hermes: So much for that. [They all throw away the pizza.]
- [Scene: Planet Express. Cubert's room.]
- Zoidberg: Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. [He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.] This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?
- Cubert: This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do three-point perspective? I could make a better mural with my butt!
- Zoidberg: [Sadly.] Father-Man away. [Cubert looks ashamed.]
- [Scene: Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]
- Hermes: Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?
- Farnsworth: I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. [He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]
- Leela: Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. [Bender moves the boulder.] Go! Go! Hit anything that moves1
- [The crew rushes out, Karate-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]
- Fry: Whoa.
- Bender: Wow.
- Amy: An entire forest grew overnight.
- Farsworth: [He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.] These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.
- Bender: I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.
- Leela: [She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.] One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. [She takes a bite.]
- Fry: [In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.] Look at me, I'm the Ty-D-Bol man. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. [He is attacked by a robotic Plesiosaurs.] Help! Police!
- Leela: Everybody grab a club. [The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]
- Fry: [The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.] Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... [A robotic T-Rex grabs him in its jaws.]
- Amy: Look out for the next thing!
- [A robotic Triceratops rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]
- Farnsworth: Great Scott, Tricycle-tops!
- [The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]
- Fry Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. [Something crows and Fry screams. A robot Pterosaur carries him off.] This is a cool way to die!
- [Scene: Outside Planet Express.]
- Cubert: Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. [Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]
- Zoidberg: Go on.
- Cubert: It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.
- Brett Blob: Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? [He laughs.]
- Cubert: Why don't you ask your mom? She's coming over for a sex visit.
- [Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]
- Zoidberg: Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? [He bursts into tears.]
- Brett: [He laughs.] The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.
- Zoidberg: And that's that.
- Cubert: Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster Jedi.
- Zoidberg: So, you wanna come in maybe? [He opens the other lid.] I've got a nice pound cake with a footprint on it.
- [Scene: Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]
- Fry: [Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.] Ah! Don't eat my butt!
- [The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]
- Leela: If this is anything like killing that pigeon on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us.
- [The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]
- Farnsworth: Look out, a solar flare!
- [An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an afro and short-circuiting the robots.
- Amy: What the shmell happened?
- Farnsworth: A mass extinction. [Fry lands unceremoniously near them.] That solar flare created a huge Electromagnetic pulse that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs.
- Leela: Convenient
- Farnsworth: Only puny, mammal-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe.
- [Bender takes this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a scarf. Guys, guys! I taught myself to knit.]
- Farnsworth: Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!
- [Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]
- Farnsworth: Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. [The crew cheers.] Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise.
- Bender: Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. [Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]
- [Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]
- [Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical rooster crows and the crew leaves their cave.]
- Fry: Hey, looky here. [Mechanical flowers have sprung up, there are animals everywhere.]
- Hermes: Sweet robot swan of Botswana!
- Bender: Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?
- Farnsworth: Whatever.
- Fry: Hey, looky there. [Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]
- Hermes: Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!
- Fry: We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. [He shows off a fan.]
- Farnsworth: Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. [His pants fall down.]
- [Scene: Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]
- Amy: I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks.
- Leela: I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks.
- [Scene: Outside the Crew's cave.]
- Farnsworth: Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished.
- Hermes: It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. [They go into their cave.]
- '[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]
- Fry: What's going on? How did we save you?
- Amy: It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone.
- Leela: I'm gonna miss Spencer.
- [Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]
- Dr. Widnar: Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. [She throws a net on Fry.]
- Fry: [He whistles.] Nice net.
- Widnar: You can speak?
- Hermes: Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human.
- Widnar: I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist.
- Bender: And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side.
- Farnsworth: Oh, shut up!
- Widnar': Amazing. [She pokes Hermes.] I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof.
- Leela: Good for you. Can we go home now? [Widnar throws a net on Leela.]
- [Scene: Museum of Natural Robo-History. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]
- Widnar: Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. [A robot coughs.] I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, Homo farnsworth.
- Farnsworth: Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors.
- [The crowd gasps.]
- Widnar: What?
- Farnsworth: I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.
- Widnar: But this is Creationist talk!
- Robot Farnsworth: He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.
- Farnsworth: Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. [He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]
- Widnar: I don't want to live on this planet anymore! [She blasts off.]
- Robo-Police: You're under arrest for crimes against science.
- Farnsworth [He is dragged off.] No! Could you drag me by the restroom?
- [USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]
- [Scene: Superior Gort. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]
- Robot: Go back to Roboklahoma!
- [Scene: Superior Gort.]
- Superior Gort Judge: Order! In the matter of Everyone v. Farnsworth, the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?
- Leela: I am...
- Bender: I am, your Honor. [Everyone else gasps.]
- Farnsworth: Bender, what the Hell are you doing?
- Bender: Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. [He clears his throat.] Ladytrons and gentlebots...
- Superior Gort Prosecutor: Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose.
- Superior Gort Judge: I'm going to allow them, for now.
- Bender: Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! [Everyone gasps again.]
- Farnsworth: Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle.
- [Fry gives a thumbs-up.]
- Superior Gort Judge: Prosecutor, your opening statement?
- Superior Gort Prosecutor: [on cell-phone.] Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. [To the Judge.] The prosecution rests, your Honor.
- Superior Gort Judge: Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict.
- [A fork-lift carries the jury box out of the room.]
- Bender: Son, you in a whole mess of trouble.
- [Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]
- Superior Gort Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?
- Robot gas forms: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. [They are all energy beings.] In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. [A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]
- Bender: That'll be $10,000.
- [Scene: Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]
- Banjo: Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.
- Farnsworth: I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.
- Banjo: Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.
- Farnsworth: [He chuckles.] Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.
- Bender: And the Creator could also be a robot.
- Farnsworth: And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot?
- Banjo: Some magical bearded robot in the sky? [He and Farnsworth laugh.]
- Bender: I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.
- Farnsworth: Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son!
- Zoidberg: Good, cause I'm sick of him!
- [Closing Credits.]
- Zoidberg: [Over credits.] I'm serious. He's a terrible person.
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